We're Living in a Man's World

"... Men that you are friends with have wives and they aren't going to want their husbands to see those pictures."

Yes. This was actually said to me and by someone whose opinion means the world to me. Someone I look up to and can talk with just about anything to and rarely felt attacked. Never did I ever think I would have to worry about my work being judged by this individual because I thought they understood and supported my passion for boudoir photography.

Let's back track a little. By the time you are reading this, a few months have already passed so we'll word it as if it was a while ago. Anyway, back in the middle of October, I finally had the opportunity to set up a spooky session with two of my Boudie Ambassadors. This session was a go-with-the-flow, fun session that had no rhyme or reason other than being as sexy, cringe worthy as we can make it. And to be honest, I think we did a damn good job at it by the time the session was all said and done. I mean, we were soaked, covered in mud and fake blood and I almost lost my camera to the elements (and my clumsy self as always but who needs to know that?). If these pictures didn't turn out half as good as I expected them to, I would have had a crying fit.

But, alas, all was good with the world when I got home and got to editing. I took close to 300 photos that day and managed to edit a good chunk for revealing on social media. Keep in mind that my models- and anyone that I share their images publicly- have all given written consent in their contracts allowing me to share their images where ever I see fit to spread body positivity and to help my business grow. I would NEVER share without permission as that goes against my belief in abiding by privacy. Normally, I just stick to sharing my photos to my instagram, facebook busineness and my VIP ladies only group but because I was so hyped about this spooky session, I wanted more engagement on these. More traction and love that those ladies deserved for giving nightmarish modeling their all. I decided to share the post to my personal facebook for all the world to see, not really too concerned about the opinions of others other than the women involved in the photos.

As I expected, the love came pouring out in the form of shares, reactions and comments. I even got a few positive messages from ladies who seen it and wants to see it go viral. But it seems as if all good things must come to a halt. Later that evening I got a message from one of my favorite people asking if I realized everyone could see the photos I posted to which I replied. "Yes, of course I know" . This person went on to tell me that it bothered them and that the guy friends that I have who are married would not have happy wives for them to see those.

This immediately made me sad. Sad because what I posted from this session was probably some of the least revealing sessions that I've ever posted. Sad because I am being made to feel bad for sharing a human body; a woman's body. In fear that I might grab the unwanted attention of a man? A married man? It makes me angry because we allow this thinking. We teach our daughters to cover up because we don't want to distract a boy from their work. We don't want to bring unwanted attention to ourselves. We don't want to be the spark that ignites whatever fuel in the mind of a man to cause him to rape us, sexualize us inappropriately or to think about cheating on their significant other.